How to Become a Boston Billionaire for Bush

The Boston Chapter of Billionaires for Bush is currently on hiatus. Contact the national organization for information.

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Billionaires for Bush is a satirical, do-it-yourself campaign using humor, media and street theater to expose politicians who support the corporate elite at the expense of everyday Americans. "Billionaires For WealthCare" is its most recent manifestation, darlings. The Boston Chapter is currently in resurrection mode.

Monday, April 30, 2007

Become an Boston Billionaire For Bush in Three Easy Steps!

1) Get on the mailing lists. We have two Boston-specific lists: the low-traffic announcement list, and the chatty discussion list. We recommend subscribing to both, and if it's too much email, you can always remove yourself from one of the lists later. These lists are separate from the national Action Network list you can subscribe to on the Billionaires for Bush website.

2) Get a name and outfit. As a Billionaire, you must make a good name for yourself (or at least borrow one from your parents). Remember, appearances are everything. Check out the entries below for details!

3) Get going! Join us for an action or for a monthly chapter meeting. If you can't make our regular meetings, but would like to still be involved, email the Chapter at bostonb4b@hotmail.com

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Who are the Billionaires?

It will be of inestimable value to you as a Boston Billionaire to understand who the Billionaires are and what it is that we do. Check out the Billionaires for Bush website to see what the Billionaires are and what they have been up to. Of course, you should also look at the amusing and edifying Boston-Metro Chapter Blog if you haven't already done so.

It's easy and fun, darling, so get cracking!

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Creating Your Billionaire Persona!

Your Billionaire persona is the alter-ego you've always wanted to have! The most convincing Billionaires even have made-up personal histories and servants. There are several resources to help you develop and groom your Billionaire persona:

Consult the DIY Guide for advice on attire and messaging. Don't fret that it still talks about that class traitor, John Kerry, darling! There is still plenty of good information in there. It will help you create or copy a Billionaire persona and select a Billionaire name. You can also consult with the Chapter for your name - they have a whole list of ideas!

Finally, the fun part: You now get the great privilege of assembling a Billionaire outfit! The following entries should help you with that task. Have fun, darling, and make yourself magnificent!

Sunday, May 29, 2005

How to Participate in Billionaires for Bush Actions:

1.) Study up – quickly study the talking points posted below (they’re funny!)
2.) Dress up – See the postings on Billionaire outfitting for assistance.
3.) Show up – Check the How to Get to Billionaires’ Actions for resources below

See you there, darling!

Monday, April 04, 2005

Billionaire On-Line Shopping Guide

Below are some of the best retailers of billionaire attire on the internet, compiled especially for you!

You may also want to search the internet using Froogle.com or eBay.com for Billionaire items. Both sites allow you to sort search results by price, with the lowest priced items first! (Note: Although a search with the words "huge fake diamond ring" will generally give you results, "huge honking fake diamond ring" will not.) For eBay shopping tips, consult the Practical Billionairess!

Since shipping costs can be substantial, online purchases may only be cost-efficient if you order enough items to fill your quarter-acre walk-in closet or join together with some chums to increase the size of your order! Also, plan ahead for the time it will take to order and deliver, darling!

ITEM SOURCE PRODUCT PRICE


Men's Items
bowler hat centurynovelty.com 92-022 $5.00

monocle gagworks.com gw-0067 $0.90

fake cigar funnyprizes.com - $0.65

money tie starwonders.com - $4.75

dollarsign necklace costumesbyscavenge.com fr-30011-1x $5.00

white gloves buycostumes.com 108942 $4.00

fashion cane buycostumes.com 1134 $8.00


Women's Items
fake pearl necklaces (8-pack) catalogcity.com 5351 $5.00

long cigarette holder buycostumes.com 407 $1.50

elbow-length gloves buycostumes.com 111760 $6.00

tiara halloweenstreet.com - $3.00


Other Items
bush mask buycostumes.com 107481 $15.00

flight suit outinstyle.com - $30.00



Billionaires for Bush not responsible for price changes, lack of availability or order mishaps.

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Boston Area Thrift Stores and Consignment Shops

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a low-liquidity Billionaire, where your assets are tied up in investments, blind trusts or campaign contributions! To get glammed up without such assets can easily be done by patronizing some of the fine thrift stores and consignment shops in the area. For your convenience, below is a listing of thrift stores roughly by geographic area. Your favorite store not listed? Contact the Chapter with the information and they will add it to the list!

For a guide on thrift store shopping for Billionairesses, consult the Practical Billionairess!

Goodwill Thrift Stores (MA): http://www.goodwillmass.org/directions.html
Salvation Army Thrift Store Locator: http://www.satruck.com/FindStore.asp

Boston:
Goodwill Industries Inc
1010 Harrison Avenue
Roxbury, MA 02119

Garage Sale
1313 Washington
Boston, MA 02118
617-482-7044

Goodwill Stores - Allston
449 Cambridge Street
Allston, MA 02134
617-782-2906

Amvets
80 Brighton Ave.
Allston, MA 02134
617-562-0720

Hadassah Bargain Spot
1123 Commonwealth Ave
Boston MA
617-254-8300
Note: Hadassah is closed on Saturdays and open on Sundays


Goodwill Stores - Jamaica Plain
708 Centre Street
Jamaica Plain, MA 02130
http://www.goodwill.org
617-983-5354

Thrift Shop of Boston, Inc.
17 Corinth
Roslindale, MA 02131
617-325-5300


Goodwill Stores - South Boston
315 West Broadway
Boston, MA 02127
617-268-7960



Brighton Allston Congregational Church Thrift Shop
404 Washington Street
Brighton MA 02135
617-254-4046
open Wednesdays and Saturdays, 10 to 2.

Cambridge-area:
Christ Church Thrift Shops
17 Farwell Place
Cambridge, MA 02138
617-492-3335
617-266-1113


Garment District
200 Broadway
Cambridge, MA 02139
http://www.garmentdistrict.com
617-876-5230

St. Gerard's Guild Thrift Shop
251A Washington Street
Somerville, MA 02143
617-666-3754



Metro-North:
Ann's Fine Consignments
166 Cabot Street
Beverly, MA 01915
978-927-7744


Malden Center Thrift Store
88 Pleasant St.
Malden, MA 02148
781-388-0038


St. Vincent DePaul Thrift Shop
701 Merrimack Street
Lowell, MA 01854
978-453-7750


Good Shepherd Thrift Store
410 Hampshire St
Lawrence, MA 01841
978-686-0441


Lazarus House
227 South Union Street
Lawrence, MA 01843
978-557-5449


St. Martin Thrift Store
121 Essex Street
Lawrence, MA 01840
978-687-1184


St. Vincent DePaul Thrift Shop
42 Franklin Street
Lawrence, MA 01840
978-689-2625



Metro-West:
Global Thrift Store
322 Moody Street
Waltham, MA 02453
781-891-5577

Friday, April 01, 2005

Affordable Tuxedos

Gentlemen, let's face it. There is nothing quite as elegant as a tuxedo with a freshly starched wing-collar shirt and ruby studs. Grrrrrrrr. You can start to live the dream by checking out the following outlets for affordable tuxedos. Go get 'em, tiger!

Keezers Classic Clothing & Formal Wear
140 River St, Ste C
Cambridge, MA 02139
http://www.keezers.com
617-547-2455
This venerable Cambridge Tux shop has a large selection of used tuxes and has been a tux mecca for thousands of impoverished college students for decades.

Building 19 (Yes, Building 19. Tuxes start at around $79.00)
http://www.building19.com
Locations:
BURLINGTON, HAVERHILL, LYNN, NATICK, NEW BEDFORD, NORWOOD, SHREWSBURY (as SPAGS 19), SWANSEA, WEYMOUTH, WORCESTER, NASHUA (NH).

Uniformal Wearhouse
uniformalwearhouse.com
(Many Billionaires have purchased from this company and recommend it.)

TuxedosOnline.Com
www.tuxedosonline.com
Email: info@tuxedosonline.com

Russo's Tux Shop
320 Revere Beach Parkway
Chelsea, MA 02150
http://www.russotux.com
617-889-1004
877-889-7467

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

How to Get to Billionaire Actions!

Billionaires for Bush is a Do-it-Yourself organization, so we will expect you to find your way to our actions, which take place throughout the Boston-metro area. We encourage you to carpool or take public transportation. If you are driving, consult one of these on-line services to get maps, directions and even satellite imagery:

MapQuest
Google Maps
Yahoo Maps
Maps.com
MultiMap.com

If you are taking public transportation, consult the T's website at MBTA.com. There are system maps for the entire metro area on the site, as well as schedules and fare information.

Regardless of how you are getting to an action, leave plenty of time to find parking or for those T adventures! A prompt Billionaire is an effective Billionaire!

Billionaires for Bush Talking Points

Sadly, looking good is not enough to be a successful Billionaire. You must also sound good and be well-informed! The best thing to do is to emulate our dear Georgie, who said, "See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda."

Memorize a few snappy one-liners and repeat them over and over again to the great unwashed masses of everyday Americans to catapult the propaganda! Fortunately, our marvelous national organization provides us with those snappy one-liners. As a service to busy Billionaires, we have posted many of them here:

General:
$ We are Billionaires for Bush – The political action committee of corrupt CEOs, corporate lobbyists, decadent heiresses, dissolute playboys and other winners under George Bush’s economic policies.

$ We are the CEOs who make 280 times the pay of an average worker. We are the 1% who own more than 40% of the wealth in this great land! We are the who's who of corporate America and we are organized!

$ We love George W. Bush - he is the best investment we Billionaires have ever had in Washington!

$ To those who say Big Money should be kept out of politics, I say show me where in the Constitution it calls for a separation of cash and state!

$ There's no better business than politics. And in George Bush's America, the business of politics has been pretty damn good – for us!

$ George understands our long term vision for a Government of, by and for the corporations—and he’s making it happen!

$ For too long we have ruled the country from behind closed limo doors. But in George Bush's America, we Billionaires can come forward without any shame. We run this country, and we do a damn good job of it!

$ Just so you know, the top 1% of US pop. are millionaires; the top 0.0001% are billionaires. The amusing thing is that 19% of everyday Americans *think* they are in the top 1%, but they simply are not!


Environment:
$ Sure, the Clear Skies Initiative will allow for increased levels of mercury in the air and water. But how smart do your kids need to be, really?

$ Who says there's no diversity in the White House? Bush and Cheney represent two DIFFERENT energy companies!

$ Once, governments fought to protect your health and preserve the environment for your children. Perhaps they just didn't appreciate how much money could be made. But George does. He's undone decades of terrible, anti-Billionaire policies and fought hard for our rights to make billions polluting the air, endangering health and wrecking the natural world.

$ If the oil industry’s estimates are correct, the ANWR has enough reserves—if extracted at great expense and difficulty — to supply the United States for two whole years! My Hummer trumps your tundra! Besides, all those caribou will be underwater anyway because of global warming.

$ We want to move the EPA inside the Chamber of Commerce. Economic growth and environmental sustainability are compatible, but we should never lose sight of the money that can be made from wrecking the environment. Only experts can properly spot and exploit these opportunities. That is why the Chamber is the right place for the EPA.

$ George should increase oil and ooal subsidies. We cannot afford to move towards energy efficiency or alternatives that would make America less vulnerable militarily, economically and environmentally. There's no money in that kind of stability. We would increase subsidies to our big energy companies as the best way of maintaining the status quo (and making a bit more money on the side).

$ “Drain America First!”: In January, Billionaires For Bush auctioned off the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, paving the way for the elite to secure private ownership of many profitable public areas. The auction is part of the Billionaires’ comprehensive Energy Plan to drain America first while continuing to transfer public resources to US!


Taxes:
$ Thank you, America, for paying our taxes!

$ Why not cut out the IRS middleman? Send your checks directly to your local Billionaire (or corporation - it will get to us eventually!)

$ We love George's tax cuts! Sustaining America's debt for our future generations to enjoy!

$ Tax cuts create jobs… honest!

$ George Bush's tax cuts… helping us slash unprofitable social services one program at a time!

$ Listen up, America. You too can receive a one-time check worth $654, officially signed and stamped by the government …all for the small asking price of social security, health care, and public education. Now, that's a deal...for Billionaires!

$ George's tax cuts help put the "loot" back in plutocracy!

$ Without George Bush's tax cuts, I never would have been able to buy that third luxury chalet in the Hamptons [or other extremely lavish item]!

$ George Bush's tax cuts are efficient! Inequality was simply not growing fast enough.

$ Thanks kids! Knowing that you will be there to clean up our mess helps me enjoy my $100,000 tax break with a clear conscience.

$ George Bush is always looking out for our kids. A $500 billion deficit will ensure that our future generations will truly understand the value of hard work.

$ George Bush is a president who protects minority rights. By taxing work, not wealth, it shows that he's truly looking out for the top 1%.

$ We love George's tax cuts because they gave $50,000+ to everyone making over $1 million and just $350 each to 80% of America's families! By 2010, they will increase to $85,000 for the richest among us, and disappear for some of the commoners.

$ When it comes to serving the elite, George Bush is a man of his word. Over the next 10 years, the richest 1% of Americans will get a $500,000 care package from OUR president, for a total of $1.1 trillion! And that's just to individuals; it doesn't include what he's giving to our corporations.

$ If you want to know what George's tax cuts can do, just ask Dick Cheney. The Vice President received a $104,000 tax cut. And you can too, as long as you're among the wealthiest 1% of this country!

$ Thanks, America! You have shown that you're willing to pay higher public university tuitions, higher state and property taxes, and higher health care costs in exchange for a one-time $654 check! Your loyalty and trust in George Bush has helped us wealthiest 1% enjoy our billions in tax breaks with a clear conscience. Huzzah!


Social Security:
$ We are here to thank the president for his efforts to take the taxpayers' money and put it on the brokers’ pockets. Take from Main Street, give to Wall Street! Huzzah!

$ We were astonished to learn that the Social Security fund is running a surplus, and will continue to do so for decades. Well, not anymore!

$ Right now, money from the Social Security fund goes DIRECTLY to widows, orphans, the disabled, and the retired workers who paid into the system for decades. But what about Wall Street -- shouldn't we get our cut?

$ The Real Crisis: There’s money to be made and it’s trapped in Social Security!

$ FDR offered a New Deal; we offer you a Raw Deal.

$ We believe in Retirement Darwinism: Survival of the richest!

$ America’s Social Security Trust Fund, our next hostile takeover.

$ Those who receive Social Security checks spend most of their money on ordinary items such as food and housing. Bo-ring! Let’s put money in the hands of those who really know how to spend it – Wall Street brokers!

$ The recently revealed scandals in the finance industry were mere blips on the radar that is our economy – just because scandals are exposed on a regular basis doesn't mean that they'll happen again. I mean, do you see Ken Lay in prison? Why don’t people trust CEOs with their money?

$ Didn't President Bush say that Social Security is like an iceberg? We think of W as the captain of our Titanic. Sure, the boat might sink. But here in first class, we know we'll be rescued. Who cares about the people in steerage?

$ Personal Social Security Accounts, putting the RISK where it belongs, squarely on the backs of the taxpayer. Putting the CASH squarely where it belongs, in our pockets.

$ Privatize! Privatize! We'll take your money and give you lies!

$ Where's our share! Where's our share! Social Security's just not fair!

Iraq Acquisition Effort:
$ Protesters are demanding that we get out of Iraq now, but the Iraqis are very hospitable and we don't want to insult our hosts, do we?

$ At the beginning of the war, an innovative and inexpensive project was used to protect oil fields from Irregular Explosive Devices (the I.E.D.s we all have heard so much about). It was NOT expanded to protect American soldiers. We're delighted that under George Bush's command, our finest technology is being used to protect our most important asset in Iraq -- OIL!

$ I do realize that recent polls indicate that a majority of Americans are against the war, but that doesn't mean it should end. After all, we're still making money off of it! And who else but our troops and contractors will watch over things as we extract *our* oil from under *their* soil? Exactly who do you trust more to get that extraction done? The nascent Iraqi government, who has all those other things to which they must pay attention - or a private contractor whose only focus is to make money for us? The answer is obvious!

$ Our acquisition of Iraq first brought in over $60 billion in no-bid contracts
which Bush ensured were reserved privately for us, without even the hassle of making it look like we were competing! I know this is old news...we've made so much more money since then!

$ A Pentagon audit has shown that Halliburton overcharged the tax- payers for fuel in Iraq by more than $108 million, and that the Bush administration has kept the report under wraps. This is an outrage! What right do Congress and the American people have to know how taxpayer money is spent? And so what if Dick Cheney's Halliburton overcharged the taxpayers $108 million on fuel? After all, it's really hard to get oil in that part of the world!

$ Under Donald Rumsfeld's steady leadership, the Pentagon took more than a year to get body armor for all the troops in Iraq, whereas those sneaky U.S. allies took just 12 days to get theirs by ordering from a manufacturer -- in Michigan. While others might have demanded bulletproof vests from experienced military suppliers, Rumsfeld's Pentagon gave a multi-million-dollar contract to a friend who had never mass-produced anything before. The Pentagon was right to reward this Billionaire Hero! He used his
connections and an unreliable bid to secure a contract worth millions! After producing next to nothing, he gave up and shut down the company he had created for the project. All this while soldiers continued to fight without body armor uness their families & friends purchased some for them. Brilliant!

$ Most Presidents have kept our Defense Contractors happy, but George has been extra-special. It's not just that he's increased the defense budget and turned over lucrative government services to our companies - he has topped it all by destroying Iraq with our most expensive bombs and then paying us to re-build both the country and the bombs! So America gets more war, more debt, less money for social programs, more taxes for families and a dimmer future -- But we get at least $250 billion! Huzzah!

$ Bush's favoritism toward us has gone way back: Both W and George Sr. have been employees of the Carlyle Group, a defense contractor that many of us Billionaires are invested in. And doesn't it show? W has increased the privatization and
outsourcing of the Department of Defense to a record $150 billion annually, so more contracts for us!

$ After speaking with military and terrorism experts, soldiers, and others, that dastardly moderate journalist James Fallows reported, "It is hard to find a counterterrorism specialist who thinks that the Iraq War has reduced rather than increased the threat to the United States." Yet many everyday citizens still believe the war is making them safer, so our Halliburton shares will retain their value. Huzzah!

$ We are also concerned that Freedom simply won't flourish without the road blocks, retinal scans, body searches, fingerprinting and bag searches our troops provide to the Iraqis!


Great Quotations:

$ "I believe in the division of labor. You send us to Congress; we pass laws under which you make money...and out of your profits, you further contribute to our campaign funds to send us back again to pass more laws to enable you to make more money." --Senator Boies Penrose (R-Pa.), 1896